But so far, none have come close to being so magnificent that they are famous for, well, being in a photo… We have a couple of nominations here obviously, which have been wittled down to the final two…

Runner up is a gent that makes his mark on the beaches of Cape Town. A beast of a man with long, curly hair, I can absolutely see why he might be sought after for photoshoots, calendars and whatnot. This man is Shebeen lock, Robert Raw

Well done Rob… But there is another Shebeen schmoooodel that deserves this award. He is a newcomer to the industry. But what an impact this lad is having!! While some languish in the corridors, scoring online photoshoots and small time calendars, this Shebeen Boys has jumped right to the front of the queue, with a photoshoot for…. The cover of the Rolling Stone…

Rich GWorm Stemmet, not only is this the title of a really catchy, 70s song by Dr Hook, but it is also why you are so proudly going to be wearing the pink shorts tomorrow night… Congrats!

Short and sweet this week, as there is no competition for Pink Pants… Though Kyle Smeagol Williamson gave it a bit of a go with his “I have problems, I want to hurt people, so I will get amped and fired to sit on the sideline and not get on the park”, and Matthew Ogre Elsworth definitely deserves a mention for his special performance on Friday night at Le Tigre (If I hear “Rich, you look like you want a tie” again…), there is one clear winner.

This is probably a story best left to the tunnel. But it does involve a girl. And her mum. I won’t say anymore. Oh, and it does involve a window. And other sensitive subjects. But seriously, no more from me, other than…

Karl Baywatch Bergemann, give us some clarity as to what you got up to last week Wednesday…???

Pink Pants are yours for a second week running…

Drinks for this, Mr fines chair!!

SHEBEEN

Last week saw Devzo 6 unseated at the top spot in the Pink Rankings by our very own Charna, Quade Epstein (if you missed it, check it out here). This week, we have something a little different… There is the ultimate heads up, single confrontation between the two princesses. But at the end of the day, there is only one candidate worthy of the Pink Pants this week… Let’s get into it:

Princess Showdown:

In the aftermath of the w@nker move from the Smutsmen, there was a little internal game that went off fairly well. Aside from this incident, that is.

Tale of the tape:

Rux “Angry Midget” McClure:    VS         Devon “Devzoooo6″ Van Schalkwyk

Height: 3’5”                                                 Height: A lot taller

Weight: 32.8 kg                                           Weight: A lot heavier

Reach: Just past his nose                            Reach: A lot further

A broken nose and many tears (from both parties) later, these two qualify as our princesses this week. Rux, calm down brother… He’s your teammate! Classic little man syndrome… And Devzo, he’s a midget. Let’s be honest, you need to man up!

As awesome as that little matchup was, we have a special someone that grabs the Pink Pants this week. Known for his bullocking runs from the base of the scrum, his love of his own guns, and a new found dress sense…

Congrats to:

Karl “Baywatch” Bergemann

100 plus Shebeen members just vomited in their own mouths…

A HUGE FINE FOR THIS AFTER THE GAME, PIKEY!!

SHEBEEN

This award has not been given nearly enough airtime this season, probably due to me being stuck on the highveld and unable to witness the ridiculousness that gets the nominees noticed. But the pink pants are back!

The Shebeen Boy’s version of the Darwin award, considered actions encompasses anything that earns the receiver ridicule, pity and many a downed beverage… So let’s get into our nominees:

Second Princess:

Though this player has not had much game time for the Shebeen Boys in his career, it is not through lack of trying on the administrative part. However, “my shoulder is buggered” can only be used so many times. Eventually, it is evident that time with females (and by females I mean hairy left palms) takes preference as a Wednesday evening activity. His redeeming moment, however, was when he was named Man of the Match with a momentous performance in the big Shebeen vs Fourths derby earlier this year. Mike VS, good to have you back mate, thought we had lost you for good there.

First Princess:

Blood relation to the second princess, this player is no stranger to the pink pants. But then it is his own fault… While it is usually his off field antics that gets him noticed, this time his unusual lack of ability has caught the selection panel’s eye. Our “blitz” outside centre was reeled and caught by the 2 heavies of the Fourths, Wazza and Milf. Devzo, this is not acceptable… but you are spared this week by our resident personal trainer…

This week, for handing out “Jack 3D” in the change rooms to all of his charnas before the Fourths clash, congrats to…

Jev “Quade” Cooper, boet. The Pink Pants are great because they show off how huge and ripped your legs are charna.

I urge you all to consider one of these three special cases when selecting a pourer tomorrow night!!

SHEBEEN

There has been a long wait between internal league matches. Given the nature of the break (SWC etc), I am sure you are all clamouring to get a vote in on who should get the Pink Pants for tonight’s game because EVERYONE did something stupid, no doubt. Despite claims by other Shebeen members, I am not omnipotent and unfortunately only had my own holiday experiences to draw from… but feel free to share your stories about your teammates over drinks in the tunnel and at The Shebeen tonight!

So to kick off with the runner’s up:

2nd Princess:

Jevron “Dig my side profile” Epstein gets this mention because he really does believe that having matching hairstyles makes him a perfect replica of Quade Cooper on the field…

1st Princess:

Ruxton “Bishops” McClure gets this mention for his performance on Sunday… against Shebeen! Well played Rux, think you cemented your spot in the Medics backline with that performance!

As has been the case throughout this 2010 season, however, there is always one exemplary act that clearly earns that person the Pink Pants Award, and it is no different this week…

To cut a long and humorous story short, the punchline is that this player got wasted and upset and tried to carve a word into his own arm… that word was “HATE”… however, combining the amount of alcohol he had consumed, and the questionable quality of his schooling, he managed to misspell it. What did he actually gouge into his arm?

“Haite”… I sh*t you not! Oh, and his email address is along the lines of devz06@***mail.com… super pink all round!

So, for the second time this season, The Pink Pants Award goes to…

Devon “Devzo-Six” Van Schalkwyk! Congrats Devzo, I look forward to the next edition of humorous contributions from you

As we see ourselves hitting out against Kopano tonight to kick off the next phase of the group stages of the internal league, there is very little debate as to who the Pink Pants wearer will be this week. There were very few poor showings so the runner up spaces were not immediately filled. However, there will always be those that open themselves up for riddicule, so here goes…

Runner up 2 (or 2nd Princess perhaps?):

All of those Shebeen Boys that didn’t make practice on Sunday because it was cold and wet. Especially those that used Mother’s Day lunch as an excuse. I have a mother too! You all know who you are, so feel happy we only have one pair of pink pants!

Runner up 1 (1st Princess):

Milo: I am sure you are rueing that dropped pass with an open tryline beckoning a little? So am I. No anger involved as the pass wasn’t great either, but we need a 1st Princess, and you made it easy to be picked on when you left your hands at home last wednesday!

However, there is a definite winner, as mentioned earlier. And it is a pity his first action on the field almost decapitated the Panther’s winger because he had such a good night as the pourer! Despite a decent performance as pourer in the tunnel party after the game, the Pink Pants Award this week goes to none other than the newcomer:

Khaya, our “2nd quota”

Congrats on the award Khaya! Welcome to Shebeen!

In what will hopefully not be a habitual occurence, our Pink Pants winner from last week ended up in hospital after the clash with the Nadoes. For all of those that don’t know, Devon is fine. Aside from the concussion sidelining him for the next month, he was “really chuffed for the chill time, bru”. Although not playing this week, Dev does have a hand in this week’s Pink Pants Award, but more on that in a bit…

To get things started, the runners up for this week are:

Jacques “Lofty” Loftus

Last week saw a titanic struggle by Shebeen who were eventually overpowered by a strong Nadoes outfit. Having to source spare props for the clash was unexpected, but unfortunately it was necessary as our stalwart prop, Lofty, was sidelined. With a back injury. From carrying beers. 3 weeks ago. Lofty will be back in action this week against the Panthers, and by the hair on his chin will be in green shorts…

Pete “The Coach” Williams

This runner up is unusual because it us generally accepted that the Pink Pants will be awarded to someone running out on the pitch that evening. Some may agree, however, that standing pitch side is close enough to be eligible. Now, there were drinks involved, and there were claims of being quoted out of context, but last Wednesday while checking up on Dev lying in the middle of the field, Coach said something along the lines of, “I don’t want to get on all fours as I will dirty my pants/ scrape my knees/ be awarded the Pink Pants” (you choose the most appropriate ending). Coach, to justify not being awarded Pink Pants we need a strong performance at the Tunnel Party tonight!

Aside from these 2, everyone had quite a good week. Except for one lad, the one everyone knew deep down would be getting the Pink Pants Award this week.

For concussing your mate with the boot of the opposition scrummie last week (and for putting a jersey on a kitten), you get the Pink Pants Award this week, Tim Vann…

As you all know, the Pink Pants Award is making a very strong comeback this season. Thanks to Karl for looking after them in the Marquard game so well. But alas, this partnership has come to an end and it is time to announce the next recipient of this very special ‘award’…

Once again there were a few pretenders that made a strong grab at the Pink throne, including:

Gary ‘Experience Means Nothing’ Fouche

Our ex- chairman Gazza was in with a chance for his spectacular performance on the coinage table after the Marquard game. For those that were not there, it ended rather prematurely and with a Shebeen urinal full of Gazza’s dinner… Congrats on the attempt Gazz, your efforts could well be rewarded in the near future!

Tyron ‘I Tried Catching With My Elbows’ Fouche

Not far behind his brother, Ty made a push for the award on the field against Marquard by having more balls dropped than his old boys school. While his attempt to make it a family affair is well noted, it was not enough to sway the vote his way. We all hope Ty will be back to his dependable self tonight!

And the Winner is…

However, there is only one performance (off the field) that was good enough to snatch victory away from the Fouches this week. His campaign started when, on route to the hard fought Marquard rugby game, he asked Kyle ‘Smeagol’ Williamson if he “had any hand cream” because his skin was feeling a little rough. It was a cute moment I am sure, but not one that inspires your teammates to believe that you will be up for the rough and tumble on the field!

This in itself was not enough to clinch it though. Ty was a shoe in until the party celebrations at the Shebeen after Marquard… Pre- empting Gazza’s early decline, this player erupted in the loos after what must have been the shortest game of coinage in the history of the Shebeen.

All in all, you had a very pink week, Devon Van Schalkwyk, now harden the f*** up

For this, the first award for 2010, which results in the winner wearing the pink pants for the duration of the midweek match against Leo Marquard, there were a number of strong contenders…

We had Siv, for being so vocally abusive against Ikhaya that their own quota wanted to off him.

There was Tom, our very own hippie, for having the wind knocked out of him in his first minute on a rugby field in 2010.

However, there is only one member that deserves this dubious honour. He made his big screen debut last year in Clint Eastwood’s  Invictus.He played Josh Kronfeld, New Zealand’s speedy openside flanker in the 1995 World Cup. Since getting his first taste of stardom, it seems he has been yearning for more screen time, which is why he auditioned for the latest edition of South African idols…

The First Pink Pants Award for 2010 goes to…

Karl Jason Bergemann

Congrats Karl, you will definitely look the part tomorrow night!

I tried to get hold of Karl for a short interview, but his PR lady refused to put me through, stating that her star was “saving his voice for the next round”.

And the winners are:

vs Wildboys:

Chris ‘I last played 6 years ago’ Thurman

vs. Smuts:

Dave “I’m here” Basset

vs. Turtles:

Josh “First Try Ever” Basset

vs. Spanners:

Daniel “Skew Throw” Couldridge

vs. Hiddingh Hall:

Wesley “Butter Fingers” van Heerden

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