Dear Shebeen,

There has been a long wait between internal league matches. Given the nature of the break (SWC etc), I am sure you are all clamouring to get a vote in on who should get the Pink Pants for tonight’s game because EVERYONE did something stupid, no doubt. Despite claims by other Shebeen members, I am not omnipotent and unfortunately only had my own holiday experiences to draw from… but feel free to share your stories about your teammates over drinks in the tunnel and at The Shebeen tonight!

So to kick off with the runner’s up:

2nd Princess:

Jevron “Dig my side profile” Epstein gets this mention because he really does believe that having matching hairstyles makes him a perfect replica of Quade Cooper on the field…

1st Princess:

Ruxton “Bishops” McClure gets this mention for his performance on Sunday… against Shebeen! Well played Rux, think you cemented your spot in the Medics backline with that performance!

As has been the case throughout this 2010 season, however, there is always one exemplary act that clearly earns that person the Pink Pants Award, and it is no different this week…

To cut a long and humorous story short, the punchline is that this player got wasted and upset and tried to carve a word into his own arm… that word was “HATE”… however, combining the amount of alcohol he had consumed, and the questionable quality of his schooling, he managed to misspell it. What did he actually gouge into his arm?

“Haite”… I sh*t you not! Oh, and his email address is along the lines of devz06@***mail.com… super pink all round!

So, for the second time this season, The Pink Pants Award goes to…

Devon “Devzo-Six” Van Schalkwyk! Congrats Devzo, I look forward to the next edition of humorous contributions from you

Dear Shebeen,

The second half of the Internal League season gets under way today with a cracker of an encounter on the cards. With mixed performances defining the Shebeen campaign thus far, we are looking to hit the ground running with a win tonight! The last meeting of these 2 sides was in a short pre- season opener which ended in a 2 try a piece draw, but we are going to have to pull out all the stops to get on top of this powerhouse unit… With Sunday’s performance against the Medics in mind, we can definitely come out on top tonight!

Details:

Meeting time: 18:30

Kick off time: 19:30

Venue: UCT Green Mile B field

Opposition: Steinhoff Cobras

What to bring: Kit, fines money, drinking money for afterwards at the Shebeen, lots of support and NB NB NB If you have not paid subs, bring along tonight so you can collect your bags and other paraphernalia

See you all on the Mile tonight!

SHEBEEN

22 Brave men took to the soccer field in a night which can only be described as ‘the coldest f*cken night of the year.’

The game started very professionally with a few TV dives and some well put together passes. Some individual brilliance by Timo saw the first goal of the night with an immaculate strike from outside the box to put the Fourths.com in the lead. With their tails up the Fourths.com pushed forward; some resolute defense by Jorn ‘the Dutchman’ Das, Ogre ‘hou my dop vas’ and Mark ‘Springfield’ Forrester managed to keep the surge at bay. After a solid 10 minutes of defense, some well worked interplay by the forwards lead to the first Shebeen goal of the night. A cross into the middle saw the goal keeper spill the ball where Chris was waiting to pop it into the net.

This appeared to be all Shebeen needed to kick start their evening. Andrew ‘Kingpin’ Moir controlled the game from the middle by feeding the strikers with some valuable ball and helping the defensive wall by marking the Fourths.com key players. Three unanswered goals followed the first leaving Shebeen 4 – 1 up at the half.

With the fourths changing goal keepers like Jenna Jameson changes her positions, they eventually settled with Jarrod after the half time break. This wise tactical change proved tough for the Shebeen strikers who battled to put the ball in the net. The second half produced no goals for the men in green despite some BRILLIANT through-balls by Gary and darting runs by Chris Vella and Devzo…….6

Andy ‘check my blue undies’ Forrester was nominated as the best player on the night with precision passing and a Forlane type goal that Forlane himself would get hard over. Jarrod was close behind him with his solid defense at the Fourths.com’s goal line.

The final score: 4 – 3 to Shebeen

Shebeen,

Good morning. In approximately 40hours we will be launching the largest football battle in the history of mankind.  We will unite in our common goal to beat the Fourths.com in yet another sporting discipline (cricket and rugby have been ticked off the 2010 list). Perhaps its fate that tomorrow is also the day Kyle was born many moons ago….
Should we win the day, the fourteenth of July will no longer be known as Kyle’s birthday, but as the day the Shebeen SSC declared in one voice: “You are our bitch fourths.com” We will not vanish without an after match fines session! We’re going to party! We’re going to survive! Tomorrow we celebrate our victory!

The team that will hold the hopes and dreams of Shebeen SSC:

1.    Gov
2.    Rolf
3.    Gary
4.    Jorn
5.    Vella
6.    Ryno
7.    Rich
8.    Ogre
9.    Kyle
10.    Forry
11.    Tony
12.    Andy
13.    Devon
14.    Murray

Points to note:
•    All players need to have paid their R100 Shebeen SSC membership (internal league players, this is included in your subs)
•    Each player is to bring R35 for match fees
•    No metal studs are allowed – bring cross trainers if you unsure about your boots
•    Game details
i.    The Mowbray
ii.    19h00 KICKOFF
iii.    Rolling subs

See you tomorrow,
Gazza

The time has come to get kitted!

Check out membership and entitlements to find out how….

Oxo are introducing a new white Oxo cube with a red cross in support of the England team.
It’s called the Laughing Stock

Apparently England are changing the 3 lions on the shirt to 3 tampons.
A spokesman for the FA said this is to represent the worst period they have ever had.

All future England matches have been moved to the Gay Adult Channel.
Apparently the sight of 11 a…holes getting hammered for 90 minutes was far too explicit for ITV

So an angry fan managed to get into the England changing room after last nights game.
Apparently Robert Green tried to grab the man but missed.

The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning –
“it is so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constant struggling and facing the impossible” said Sipho Umboto, orphan, aged 6

All these Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand.
In fact, they’re crossing the line.

Chicken or beef England?
(thanks Trevor)